The Cancer Card and Other Perks

Let’s face it - having cancer is a drag. You can, however, look at the bright side and take pleasure in a few of the consolation prizes reserved specifically for cancer patients:

• You have permission to use The Cancer Card. The Cancer Card is perhaps the most valuable of all the cancer consolation prizes, but it must be used sparingly otherwise its effectiveness can diminish rather quickly. Here are some examples of how to use The Cancer Card:
  
  
  • There is a social event for work that you are expected to attend. You know it’s going to be boring, and you’d much rather stay home and watch reruns of “Law and Order”. Pull The Cancer Card and tell your boss that you “just aren’t feeling up to it because of the cancer treatments”…even if you feel just fine.
  
  
  
  • You don’t feel like washing the dishes, but it’s your turn. Pull The Cancer Card and tell your husband or wife that you’d really appreciate it if they’d do them for you – “that treatment I had the other day is really hitting me hard today”. See? Now you’re free to watch more “Law and Order”.
  
  
  
• If you lose your hair because of the chemo treatments, the time it takes you to get ready in the morning will be cut in half. Just think:
  
  
  • No hair to wash in the shower
  
  
  
  • No legs, armpits or faces to shave


• If you’ve always secretly wanted to buy and wear fabulous hats, now you can justify it!



• Some of your friends and family members will find it necessary to shower you with gifts, flowers, food, etc. – why not bask in the glow of being treated like royalty? You might already be glowing from radiation treatments, so you might as well act the part.

Return to Home from The Cancer Card and Other Perks